The Brat Stop + Friendship.
Tips on all-things travel gear plus glass jugs, chicken salad, summer aura, and lots of talk about friendship bridges.
While flying back from the Midwest this week something just poured out of me and onto this page. I wasn’t going to publish it, then I said f*ck it and here we are.
Fair warning, this first part I get a little deep on friendship and life. And then I give you whiplash by rolling through a bunch of great travel gear for low-stress packing.
It’s a little heart-bearing, a little list-checking. Now, isn’t that the perfect way to sum me up? Anyway, enjoy.
I just took a quick trip home to Wisconsin for my friend Leigh’s 40th birthday. It was a reunion of sorts, all seven of my high school girlfriends together catching up over drinks, dancing, nightcaps, and good chats. It filled my heart right up to the brim and I left the Brat Stop (real place) screaming I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!
Time is moving fast thanks to new priorities (aka kids)—some of us with young kids, others with older kids, and one (me) still hoping for kids. Even with so much of our daily lives no longer shared, there’s still this core piece of each other that is 100% recognizable. Knowable. When I see old friends, their heart says Hey, I know you and some young, bright girl inside me says back, Hey, it’s so good to see you again.
Despite long periods without a text, call, or visit, there’s a connection there, always. A big strong bridge of friendship leading us back to each other.
I can’t talk about 40th birthdays without acknowledging that in April I went to a different birthday party. One for my friend Meg who passed away this year, just weeks before her 40th, from cancer. This spring my college crew got together on Meg’s birthday to celebrate her over martinis and steak in a perfectly amazing tribute, except of course the impossible reality that she wasn’t there. I kept waiting for her to pop over, pull up a chair, sit on her husband’s lap, crack another joke, order another round. I still can’t quite wrap words around the experience, it feels too surreal, too unnatural that she’s gone. I think I’m still on step one of grief: denial.
In the last few months, my life has been stirring and colliding in an insane juxtaposition of vivid, bright moments set against the dark depths of loss. They illuminate one another from across the divide—joy and grief—bringing out new textures to my emotions, a new friction in my soul that sometimes sings like a bow on a string or screams like a sharp-toothed blade cutting right to the bone.
I bet we all feel that in some way, just turn on the news.
This year feels like an initiation, like some kind of hazing that is supposed to make me stronger. Or maybe the whole point is my heart expands a little further than I thought possible, aching and pounding and exploding and fluttering. All that hot blood moving, the adrenaline coursing through me with something that feels like clarity. Conviction—I’ve learned something.
With that conviction, I’m sure I’ve collected a new truth about life as it pangs through me, echoing echoing, giving shape to an invisible space I didn’t know was there before. Vibrating against the walls of my heart, a new little grid of emotion comes online. From that place, some wisdom emerges, painfully or gloriously, and deposits itself into the deep well of my experience.
I feel the wisdom dropping into my soul, but my brain hasn’t caught up. I can’t translate what I’m learning. It’s not in my mind, it’s in my heart. Over and over, I think what I’ve been feeling these last few months must be love, in it’s many forms, in it’s heartbreak and hope.
I loved this last weekend. More than anything, it was a reminder that good friends are always worth checking in on.
It’s worth it to get on the flight, show up to the thing, and create more memories together. I spent maybe 6-12 hours with my high school crew this weekend, even less all together, and yet I could feel that bridge extend a little further.
Life gets busy. Life can get really, really hard. But I stand on these bridges of friendship and realize they help hold the weight. They connect me back to myself. I get to witness and revisit little pieces of me spread out across time and space, deposited in the hearts of my friends for years and years and years. And in return, I have a little piece of them, glowing bright in my heart, lighting up the bridge connecting us back to each other.
What a gift to be nearly 40. Despite all the world chaos, I’ll be spending more time with friends this summer getting grounded in the simple joy of being together—flipping coins into our shared well of experience—the only currency that guarantees a rich life.
On Our Radar
As promised, I’m following up that heartfelt essay with none other than: travel gear.
While on that same plane back from Chicago (productive flight honestly), I reached into my oversized tote for a tissue and everything spilled out :/
Between the planes, trains, boats, and cars required to travel over the years, it’s become clear I need a new travel system. I forget things—chargers, headphones, etc—and after a few trips to Europe to visit in-laws, smaller planes and tiny cars requires a new approach to packing.
THE LIST:
PART 1 - The Bigger Stuff
Duffle or Backpack
For almost all trips, a duffle or backpack is super useful for hands-free storage.Euro-sized Carry-on Roller Bag
Surprise! US carry-ons are too big to carry on in Europe. More on that below.Larger Checked Roller Bag
I’ve used my husband’s for too long. Time for an upgrade
Part 2 (soon) - the smaller stuff like fanny packs, pouches/ dopp kits, etc.
THE GEAR:
Duffles/ Backpacks
A quick breakdown with some highlights on new-to-me brands.
CALPAK
Family-owned since 1989 and based in LA, I LOVE this brand for the color palette, clever design features, and reasonable prices, plus a big range of travel solutions and super cute everyday items like this insulated lunch bag.
They have almost everything on my list. It’s unlike me to buy matching sets, or even buy everything from the same brand, but this is a one-stop shop for travel if that’s your jam.
I love the puffy bag trend so the Luka large duffle is my top pick thanks to features like a removable shoulder strap, shoe compartment, pass-through sleeve, and pockets—all for less than $200. Check out the Luka collection to complete the system.
The Terra Duffle/ Backpack (50L) in Cacao gets my click for bigger travel missions, especially anywhere outside or involving roadtrips. With water resistant material, lots of pockets, pass-through sleeve, and convertible straps, I’m super down with this bag especially at $215! Similarly, they have a Terra collection with more options.
CARAA
Caraa was founded in NYC by Carmen and Aaron, one a CDFA award-winning fashion designer the other a successful entrepreneur. They have a cool story (read it here) and well-designed bags with interesting materials or shapes.
Of their travel selection, I love the Portobello weekender. This cinched shape is one-of-a-kind and includes thoughtful details like 100% recycled water-repellent nylon, many organizational pockets, and a pass-through sleeve. It’s a little more expensive at $280, but I love it. A close second is the Nimbus Large at $250.
Other mentions:
Fjallraven Kanken Backpack- will rep this brand all day. The Kanken is a retro style pack you’ll see all over Europe. I love the price ($90), rainbow of colors, and quality—you cannot destroy it. It zips allll the way open and lays flat, another huge win for packing. It doesn’t have a pass-through strap but packs down small, so you can shove it in another bag for trips.
Beis Expandable Backpack- the weekenders are not my fav, but the backpack is everything you want and nothing you don’t for $118. I like the pass-through sleeve and less masculine vibe than other travel backpacks.
Clare V Weekender - huge fan of the brand, the Weekender comes at two price points—$395 for canvas, $595 for leather. It’s streamlined and has their signature removable strap but does not have a pass-through sleeve or much organization.
Bembien Le Weekender- the most gorgeous woven leather weekender, it is STUNNING and well priced at $575. If you’re going for style that’s well below a designer price point, this is a good pick.
Euro-Sized Carry-on Roller Bags
I’m pretty sure no American DTC brand makes a Euro-sized hardshell roller bag. For many airlines in Europe—Vueling, Easy Jet, RyanAir—the cabin luggage dimensions are smaller. Popular US carry-ons like Away are TOO BIG. Most notably, you need a skinnier roller bag (under 8” depth). It’s nearly impossible to find a bag this size, but there is one great find.
CABIN MAX
Cabin Max is genius because you can shop by specific carry-on sizes (55x40x20cm) or by specific airlines like Vueling. Back in 2007, two young British guys couldn’t find luggage to meet cabin requirements. Fast forward, Cabin Max has been solving that problem for nearly two decades with a range of luggage made in all sizes from high quality materials with a 3-year warranty. I haven’t bought one yet, but I trust it.
I’m going to Menorca this fall on Vueling, so I’m buying:
Anode 44L Hard Shell roller bag (55x40x20cm) at $150, it comes in several colors.
If Cabin Max shipped direct to the US, I’d consider this one instead. If you can ship somewhere in Europe, check it out:
Note: Due to the unfortunate and absurd situation with US tariffs, Cabin Max stopped shipping to the US, but they are on Amazon. Let’s hope tariffs get resolved so brands abroad can resume intl shipping.
US-sized Carry-on + Checked Bags
The last checked bag I used was my parents old suitcase from 1995 or my husband’s beat up North Face mega duffle roller bag. Time for an upgrade.
After much internal debate, I’ve narrowed it down to:
CALPAK Ambeur 2-Piece Luggage Set - $395!!!
Unbeatable on style and price, made with the same trusted quality and 2 year warranty of CALPAK. Includes: standard carry-on (40L) and large checked bag (100L).BÉIS Large Check-In Roller- $368
At 112L, this bag is large and loved by many with all the expected features you’d crave (great wheels, TSA lock, compression straps) with the bonus of a weight indicator and 2 included pouches for organization with limited lifetime warranty.JULY Checked Plus Expandable - $395
The largest of them all at 110L and expandable up to 120L, leave it to the Australians to figure out how to maximize packing efficiency. One detail that stands out? The YKK Japanese zippers—the best zipper on the market, meaning this bag will zip up without fail for years and years. July also has a 100 day return policy and lifetime warranty.
JULY 2-Piece Trunk Set - $1010
Opposite of zippers is a trunk set, featuring twin one-click TSA latches and interior aluminum frame with polycarbonate shell. With an 80/20 split case, the large 95L trunk features a deep bottom section to make packing bulky items easy, and the set comes with a 42L standard carry-on trunk.
Discovery
Like always, we love ending our notes with inspiration so here are some of the people, places, messages, and musings that are inspiring us lately.
Stella glass jugs from Denise, made in Portugal and expensive to ship, so throw in some of their mouth-blown glass flower petal candle holders too
My girl Megan Mitchell walks through a delicious chicken salad
Shannon Bond ring-pop inspired Italian glass rings are on my list (in these colors too)
Tinkr tools just launched essential kits for DIY and home improvement—dare I say these modern toolboxes are cute
Abigail Eir’s tarot spreads prompt thoughtful self-reflection tied to astrological moments—here’s her recent Jupiter in Cancer spread
Zara’s Summer Aura collection is so good, including this beaded bucket bag all my friends are buying
And that’s it for today! Till next time,
xx Fenny
Nice !!!