Finding magic in the messy in-between
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Finding magic in the messy in-between
unedited living & embracing new possibility
This week, I had every intention of finding and curating the perfect writing spot to draft this newsletter. I had visions of soft jazz playing in the background, a clean desk, a floor-to-ceiling window overlook, and a fragrant candle burning next to my laptop. Staged perfection.
My unedited reality: I’m 3 days into a winter bug, high on cold meds, waking up in my mother’s guest room with an unpacked suitcase, an overflowing gym bag, and a small bedside table cramped with cups, kleenex, a diffuser, humidifier, blue-blockers, one feather, and a mound of untouched books topped with one magically blessed rose quartz.
I’m still in bed with a vista outlook that resembles a cherry-oak armoire and greige walls, and three pillows are propping me up. My chiropractor might actually kill me if he had eyes on this writing setup.
In other words, it’s kinda messy. I’m kinda messy.
In a way, I feel like I just got a cosmic wink. I’ve been trying to think about my word for the year, my intention(s) for the year, and what the hell I have to share in this newsletter that will feel inspiring and on-brand with the New Year vibe. I even tried to strategize about it with Lauren on our weekly call, willfully placing myself under the gun to “figure it out” like this is some sort of do-or-die-high-pressure-cooker situation.
I don’t know.
I think I’ve uttered the words “I don’t know” more than I could possibly recount in the last year. Losing my brother has altered me in ways that I can’t (and may never) fully comprehend. For someone who has always thrived on having a master plan, a hyper-organized life, and gets off on control, NOT knowing what’s next or where I am going is completely unnerving.
I have big dreams of what I *think* will serve the highest me and the greatest good, but I am acutely aware that things can and probably will look different than my tightly controlled vision. And maybe/hopefully for the better?
Can I learn to love what is, while still having dreams of what could be?
Is it possible to surrender to the magic of possibility?
For the first time in a long time, I am finally allowing myself space to dream again. After a year of earth-shattering loss and hopelessness, I am grateful for the cauldron of friendships that have continued to breathe life back into my spirit and reflect back all the beauties and capabilities they see in me.
I am still in a season of becoming while trying to allow & embrace the messy in-between. A space that allows for the magic of new possibilities to be revealed to me, one step at a time, in their own time. I can feel the soft momentum of a new season taking shape, and I feel more courageous than ever before.
I don’t know what it is yet, but it feels like magic 🪄
On Our Radar
When I first reached out to my now friend Rachel Dorsey about working together, I told her “I need a cheerleader”. What I got, what I get from her is so much more. She has that special je ne sais quoi that words can’t fully express and has become an accountability partner, truth-teller, ally, and overall a major source of inspiration for me. I asked Rachel if she would share some of her magic with the Confidant community this week. Scroll down for some of her sage wisdom. Hopefully, it will add some kindling to your personal flame.
A New Year Thought, by Rachel Dorsey
When we're trying to become the next version of ourselves, there will be voices that tell us to stay in our lane - don't want too much - don't leave the safety of the known...
Some of these voices will be family, some will be friends, some will be people from whom you deeply crave acceptance - and the loudest voice may be coming from inside your head. It may not have your voice - it may feel like a chorus planting seeds of doubt - it may be every imagining of fear pushing you to stay inside the safety of the known.
But - you wouldn't be on the precipice of shedding your skin if your skin wasn't ready to shed. Can you let the old fall away so you can step into the new?
When the voices are loud, can you encourage yourself the way you'd encourage your best friend? Can you craft and mold your internal voice to believe in your strength, to believe in your decision making power?
To become the next version of yourself, you need to shed your old skin. That shedding may make other people uncomfortable. They may not recognize you at first. That's OK. If they're meant to, they'll get to know the new you. You get one life, but you get unlimited chances to become the next version of yourself. Don't waste that opportunity worried about other people's opinions of you.
If you are interested in working with Rachel, she offers 1:1 growth mentorship and has a couple on-demand workshops here!
Meet our Confidant: Dana Fitzgerald
This week, we tapped our friend Dana, a Brooklyn living babe who has incredible style, taste, and a personality that makes everything feel brighter, better, and so much more f’n fun. I wish we lived closer so we could be neighbors. Here are a few of her favorite NY staples for this winter.
Bona at Sania’s Brow Bar does the best eyebrows in NYC. And Sania’s brow pencil is a desert island beauty must.
A dinner with friends always gets me jazzed for the New Year ahead. An old school steakhouse where the martinis are perfectly chilled, the steaks are perfectly cooked and where overdressing is encouraged perfectly fits the bill. If you’re in New York, that place is Keen’s.
If you’re looking to treat yourself with something fabulous to start 2023, my go-to is the Frankie Shop for some personal retail therapy.
Taking care of myself is the first thing to get pushed aside. One way to sneak a little fun into you exercise routine is to do your favorite online class - I like The Class with Taryn Toomey and some arm weights for extra oomph.
Discovery
Like always, we love ending our notes with inspiration, so here are some of the people, places, messages, and musings that are inspiring us lately ✨
A few wishes for humanity & me & you, by Lily Diamond
Love how Parlor Hotel is playing with a new kind of small-town retreat that puts your party in the heart of their hometown. I can’t wait to visit.
This “Less | More” exercise by 3rd Ritual
An old train depot in Madison, WI was converted into a fine-dining restaurant that nods to the Midwestern state's supper club culture of the 1930s and 40s. (*Insider take - I dined here with two of my girlfriend this past weekend and it was everything we could have hoped for and so much more! You must get their infamous French Onion Soup).
Permission granted to skip straight to après-ski with this vibe.
HYPE WOMAN
Anna Fusco is the name behind one of our most beloved substacks, “Unsupervised”. She gets right to the heart of the matter, peeling back layers on topics so many of us ponder, but can never fully articulate. She’s the embodiment of REAL TALK. Going deep to connect with readers in a way that I have never experienced before.
Her poster titled “A well spent life” is one of my most prized possessions, and now an everlasting memory as it was recited during Lauren and Tal’s nuptials (not a dry eye in the house might I add!)
Thanks for being here! If you have friends who would love this, please send it on- we’re excited to expand this community. xoxo - Your Confidants, Fenny & Katie